Monday, November 16, 2009

Upcoming deployment

I rarely blog anymore. Blogging was a great outlet while my then-boyfriend, now-husband was deployed. But my blogging really petered out since he returned...over 3 years ago.

And in a few months he will be deploying again. But this time it will be a whole different situation: then we had only known each other a few months before he deployed. This time we will have been married a couple of years, and have two kids.

It will be a very different deployment. We will face different challenges: this time he will be saying goodbye to two young children, and his beloved dog, Susie. When he leaves our daughter will just be learning how to sit up, and might have a tooth or two. When he comes back she will be walking and talking. And our son, who is just 17 months old now, will be almost 3 when he gets back. So my husband will be missing out on a lot of developmental stages.

And not to cry myself a river, because I certainly have it a lot easier than many other military spouses, but I won’t be a carefree university student this time around. No, this time around, I will be a working mother of two…I won’t be able to sleep-in much that year. But I think that is a good thing: I won’t have much time to mope, because I will be so busy. My husband has said as much himself: he will have a few more responsibilities this time around as well.

I was prompted to write this post, because I got a comment today on a post I wrote before he deployed last time, and it was fascinating to reread it, and see who I was then, and my fears and thoughts before his departure.

A lot of what is written in that post is still true. But I would say there was a lot of the fear of the unknown then: I didn’t know what to expect. This time around I will have better expectation management. The fear about his safety will still be ever-present, but I don’t think I will be living and breathing the deployment as much as I did back then. In some ways it will be more difficult, because of the added responsibilities of taking care of a family on my own. But in many it will be easier, because I feel a lot more secure in our relationship and I will be distracted from my pity party.

Time will tell, and perhaps in three years I will re-read this post with fascination as well.

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6 Comments:

Blogger Jen Gloede said...

Imagine my surprise when I randomly checked out your blog and you had updated it!

While this deployment will present a different host of challenges, I also know how strong you are, Britt. You will not only excel as a working mother, but you also will continue to be an awesome wife to Clay.

Having been through two of my own so far, I can say that having the security of a strong relationship going in to the second deployment made it easier in the ways where the first one presented the most challenge. I was insecure about the relationship on the first deployment which caused me to worry about a whole host of other things other than just Jeff being in a war zone.

On our second deployment, I no longer had to worry about our relationship, per se. And I think that allowed me the opportunity to support him even more because I was able to channel that negative energy in to something more positive.

I'm here for you, and I will help you and R & E get through the deployment in any way that I can!

11:17 PM  
Blogger ThatBeeGirl said...

lots of changes in store for you. i know you'll get through them just fine.

2:20 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I really enjoyed reading that old post from the last deployment...

7:21 PM  
Blogger jck said...

Sarah beat me to it, but that post was one of the ones that hooked me on your writing.

You will have an entirely different experience, and you will more than have your hands full.... But wanted to at least let you know that you have supporters out here, and we are sending lots of good thoughts and prayers always. Hope time and inspiration strike for you to blog, but either way, you will do just great!

7:20 PM  
Blogger Cristin said...

Thanks for visiting my blog! I definitely understand the challenges of trying to find time to run while being a mom (& "single" mom)! I hope you can get a system worked out.
I can definitely relate to your post. During my husband's 1st deployment we were also in Germany (Baumholder) and had no children. By his 2nd deployment we had a 3 month old so I had an infant that whole year. Now I'm going to do it with a 3 year old! Each deployment is so different and will present new and surely interesting challenges! Best wishes!

10:09 PM  
Blogger KD said...

Hope we will get to hear more from you! I'm a new visitor from CopTheTruth.

8:27 AM  

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