Tuesday, October 19, 2010


My husband has been deployed now for over 7 months. It’s definitely different this time around, having kids. I’m kept busier, and the time seems to be flying by faster. But it does make me sad, because he is missing so much. I have heard other military families express this same feeling, but I never understood it until I lived it myself.

I was sitting on the sofa last night, and my 2 year old son clambered up next to me, and scooted his butt against the back of the couch and imitated how I was sitting on the sofa. And then turned up to look at my face, beaming. And it filled me with such joy and happiness. And then I realized how lucky I was to be spending time like this with my son, and how sad it was that my husband was missing a whole year of those special moments. A year of those beaming smiles. And it made me incredibly sad.

My husband and I have also discussed the fact that we both tend to have morbid thoughts a lot more…like when he was home for R&R and I was making video of him with the kids, I couldn’t silence the thought in the back of my head that this might be footage I show the kids later of them with their dad…their dad that they can’t quite remember, because he never came home. He says, he also worries about me and the kids, something happening to us.

Yes, it’s sad. But I think because we have these thoughts more often, I think we also have a better appreciation of our family. We realize how precious our moments together are. So it’s not all bad.


Blogger Tori said...

This is the last post I could seem to find on your blog, which devastates me. I am currently in the same situation you were over five years ago; My boyfriend of just over a year is getting ready to deploy to Afhganistan, and I was lucky enough to find your blog while looking for suggestions of good christmas presents for him to take. Reading your blog makes me feel oddly more peaceful; while I am surrounded by a military family and women who have stayed back while their husbands went to war, I have never met another woman who was "merely" a girlfriend--at least that's how the world around me is acting. Either way, I really appreciate you baring your soul to an online community, and it really has helped me cope at least a bit better to see someone elses perspective.
Thank you

7:16 PM  

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